My mission, in a nutshell, is to give you the wedding that you want. You want to get married by a chick in full gothic regalia? Done. Want to get married by Slave Leia? Done. Want an Officiant who tells dirty jokes? Leads a pagan hand-fasting ritual? Dresses like Elvira or a zombie for your Halloween wedding? Reads the entire service in Klingon? Or who FINALLY gets to perform legal, same-sex ceremonies with simple beauty and dignity? (Thank you, Governor Cuomo!) Or maybe you just want someone who understands your lifestyle and thinks it's awesome.

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You get the idea.

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My standard fee is $500 (Monday-Thursday elopements: $250, Friday-Sunday elopements: $300), which kills me to have to say because I used to be a lot cheaper. *sigh* But I was so cheap I was actually starting to lose money by taking off from work to do the weddings, so I had to raise my rates before my family disowned me. Whatever. I'm still affordable. And personally, I blame you for not hiring me sooner.

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Anyhoo, here's what's included in that price: 

• all consultations, phone calls, Skype and in-person meetings; 

• a rehearsal on a day/night that I am not already booked, if you choose to have one (in NYC only; an out-of-area rehearsal is something we can talk about);

• a 100% personalized service, including any special rituals you'd like to include, like handfasting, candle lighting, etc.;

• I will use a book for your service that you select, either from ones I already own or one that you provide. I will also go out of my way to find something you like or make something from scratch if the first two options aren't working for you;

• I will accommodate almost any wardrobe request within reason, although I freely admit that I was asked to wear neutral lipstick once and it nearly killed me. (If I have to rent a costume, though, that cost is on you. To be fair, I don't think I would need much convincing to just break down and buy my own stormtrooper or pirate costume, but you get the idea), and finally;

• An Emergency Reverend on standby, because shit happens...but I want to make sure it doesn't happen to your wedding.

 

Now, all that being said, I'm open to some negotiating. A hundred bucks and that sweet Fender strat you've been looking to unload. $400 and an open bar. Free if you or your significant other plays drums for my band.

 

Or something like that. We'll talk. ;)