[the reverend]

[the reverend]

Welcome to the LEFT of center

In the beginning

Brian and Mary were the very first couple I married. I'd known them both for years, yet was still surprised when Brian asked me to perform the ceremony. I was pretty drunk at the time, so of course I said yes. Next morning, however, left me a bit worried. What the hell was I thinking? I've never done this before. What if I screw up?


Yeah. That lasted about 5 minutes. Because then I remembered: hey, I'm a performer. I get on stage in front of hundreds of strangers all the time without batting an eyelash. I've bared my soul to clubs packed with cynical goth kids and angry metalheads and won them all over. Surely, I could say a few words in front of Brian's grandma and Mary's sister.


And so, I dove into their ceremony like I would do for any performance: headfirst. I made lists of their personality traits and little quirks, movies they liked and funny and/or meaningful quotes I knew they'd appreciate. I found out what everyone would be wearing and bought an appropriate outfit. I found the perfect book to write the ceremony in. And I made a Unity Candle based on their adorable invites. (Of course, it also had the word "penis" spelled out in tiny crystals, but that was a running gag between Brian & I, and I knew he'd love it.) In short, everything I did was uniquely for THEM.


And then I realized: maybe that's why I'll be good at this wedding thing. I have no set formula. I have no standard mode of operation. I was ready and willing to roll with whatever Brian and Mary threw at me, and was more than happy to tailor every detail from the service to my shoes just to give them exactly what would make them happy.


So that's my schtick. Since then, I've been asked to do a lot of different things.Would I perform a service as Elvira? No problemo. Could I do a Wiccan blessing? A short trip to Enchantments and I had a beautiful wedding candle made by a practicing witch, and a few tutorials on the Internet gave me all the info I needed to pull it off. Would I mind dressing up as a pirate? Not at all. Can I perform a Celtic handfasting? Absolutely, and I even custom-made the wrapping by hand. Would I mind incorporating a bit of goth and Halloween without going overboard? A gorgeous, custom-made ceremony book made the bride positively swoon and was just the right touch. And the list goes on.


Bottom line is: whatever you want, I will find a way to make it happen. And that's a promise.


Just don't ask me to not have a good time while doing it.


Hey, I gotta draw the line somewhere.

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